dating a passive beta male
Ended relationship with a passive guy — was I wrong to? I know of one guy dating a passive beta male this forum STEVE! Of course, I want anyone with advice to chime in. I am, as my name eludes to, about to cave in! On Sunday, I decided to call and end things with a guy I have been exclusively dating for 7 months. The first 3 months was easy and carefree, mainly because I was trying to protect myself from really falling for this guy.
With ALL men before him, I have been typically ghosted in the second month. Needless to say, this was my first ever exclusive relationship, but I was the one who chose to bring up the topic around our fourth month or so. We talked and, to my surprise, he had already thought that we were exclusive! That was a telltale sign for me that he CLEARLY is not a good communicator. I noticed him becoming more and more distant.
Text messages were starting to go unanswered — would tell me later that he forgot and then apologize. He would happily agree to almost all things I put forward, but I was getting tired of always putting in the effort. I asked if he would do me the courtesy of putting in more effort to plan things with me, and he agreed without hesitation.
So, present day, he just moved away a month ago. He is only 2 hours away, but I still made sure that he was willing to continue with me before he left. Unfortunately, things did not get better. I still put in all of the effort. Communication was still limited to sporadic texts, and I was growing dating a passive beta male frustrated by his ability to post things on social media, and like or comment on pictures of other women.
We went a week without any communication. He used to be good at commenting on things I would post online, but that stopped too. Again, all comments and likes were given to other people. I sent him a message asking if he was free to talk later — 10 hours later there was still no word from him. Based on my past experiences, I thought that I was again being ghosted. I decided to therefore give myself closure by messaging him that I recognized a fade out when I see it.
I went as far to actually giving him accolades by stating that he has an exciting road ahead, wished him dating a passive beta male best and then said goodbye. It was late, so I silenced my phone and went to bed. In the morning I dating a passive beta male that he had replied about an hour after I sent the messaged and, after his normal apology and excuse for not responding earlier, he agreed that we should talk. I my mind, I had prepared to end it all. Cut all social dating a passive beta male ties.
He started to mutter that he thought we should take a temporary break to give him a bit more time to settle in…but then he changed his tune to what I had said. This dating a passive beta male where I need help! I was under the belief that if he genuinely wanted to be with me, then he would have fought for me and made it CLEAR. All of my friends agree with this opinion…. She has been with an incredibly passive man dating a passive beta male 7 years.
She said that it took dating a passive beta male two years to figure out that this is just who he is! It is THIS perspective that is making me feel like I quit and gave up on him! His birthday happens to be on Saturday and I am contemplating reaching out and extending an olive branch. Especially when they claim to already have a GF.
March 11, at 6: I think you were right to break up with him. You deserve a relationship where both parties are invested. He should be calling you to make plans to see you. You made the right choice. If he says no, then fine. If he says yes, then discuss what is needed so that you both feel secure. Then see if everything matches up.
You sound like you have a good hear on your shoulders. I dating a passive beta male check out those websites. I only asked about Steve because his is the only name I have come across, and I have liked what he has shared. I have never dated a passive person before, so I am only familiar with men who are forward and down right blunt! That is where he offered the while temporary break comment.
Also, not that this will GREATLY impact opinions, but in he went through surgery and chemotherapy for a brain tumor. It has greatly impacted his ability to communicate meaning whenever we talk, especially in person, he would stop mid sentence and I could see his wheels spinning whilst he tried to process his next point.
I had always wondered if this surgery impacted other elements of communication, meaning his ability to act on cues from me, but I never thought it right to ask! At any rate, I am with you Jules, on me coming to this decision for a reason. Stefanie why does it matter? Caving Dating a passive beta male think your incompatible in the way you need a man to be.
This is what the dating process is about, deciding which kind of man works best for you. He was also extremely rude in few of them in a way that would be unacceptable if he were another of one of us. To each their own opinions. Just wondering though, if you had any help or support to offer me, instead of just a blanket dislike for someone I was seeking advice from.
And Lane, I might actually need to take a step back and really think about what it is that I want. One problem is that I have been single for so long I am 30so I an used to initiating and doing things for me. I have never had a man in my life that, like you said, acts the man! With this guy, I really do like him. Caving… my advice to you was to check those sites as you asked for the male perspective and I know there are much better places than here for that, which is Additional advice from me… whether or not he is passive, can you live with having to run everything?
The whole point of being beta is they tend to worship and chase and cling. There are certain personalities that go better with others and it could be your choosing the wrong types and could be one reason why your struggling in the dating arena? He can only string you along for as long as you will allow it, but as long as you allow it, he will keep stringing you along.
Please do yourself the favor of realizing you deserve much better than a guy who puts in no effort for you or your relationship.